Giving Up Bridge

GarWen Shirley Jackson

SunBird bridge players meet on a regular basis Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at the SunBird clubhouse.

There’s always room for more players! The following poem reveals the humor you find in most bridge players:

Giving Up Bridge

I’m giving up bridge—tonight’s my last night. It’s Amen to Stayman, I give up the fight.

The insults and muddles are giving me troubles, and I can’t sleep at night for thinking of doubles.

My cards are all rotten, and I have forgotten who’s played and what’s trump, and what’s gone on my right!

So, for now it’s all over—I’m off to the backwood, I’m bidding goodbye to Gerber and Blackwood.

I can’t stand the hassle, I can’t stand the pain, I’m getting those bad cards again and again.

I’m giving up bridge—tonight’s a bad night. Declarer is horrid and nothing’s gone right.

My partner’s a dope and I’m losing all hope, and when she says “double,” I know we’re in trouble.

My points are not high, and I’m wondering why she kept on bidding right up to the sky.

We’re in seven spades and all my hope fades. When surprise, surprise her high bidding pays.

We’re winning all tricks, the defenders feel sick, and I have to admit my partner’s a brick.

But I’m giving up bridge—tonight’s my last night. Farewell to conventions—I give up the fight!

So, I leave with few words, but some that are true. Bridge is a game not for me, but for you.

So, be kind to your partners, and don’t mind their cheek, for it’s only a game—Oh! And see you next week! —Sue Stokes, Southlake, Texas (The Bridge Bulletin)