This, That and Other Stuff

Bob Neuman

Some days are great; others are horrible.

No, the battle is not with the neighbors’ dog. This confrontation is between me and the contrary household gadgets and appliances.

For example, the washer performs beautifully, peaceful and quietly swishing the clothes. Then, for some unknown reason, it began dancing and thumping into the wall.

Immediately, the garbage disposal begins a clatter that would drown out a machine gun.

Another eruption, the ice maker decides to hose down the contents in the refrigerator until water leaks out the bottom.

Do appliances communicate? If not, how else do they have perfect timing with their racket and destruction? And is it coincidental something else goes kaput immediately after you just paid to have the first thing fixed?

Forget about repairing anything. Do companies design their products to fail after a certain amount of time? Ever try to have your television repaired? Most are throw-aways. If a fix-it man could be found, would you pay him $60.00 to tell you it can’t be repaired?

Some shoppers do buy an extended warranty. Should we then assume the product is so poorly made that it won’t last?

Shortly after the computer monitor warranty expired, my computer monitor blew out. I attempted to find someone to fix it. No one would or could.

Then it was time for the garage door to attack. We had just driven into the garage. With my wife near the wall button and I with the remote in hand, the door commenced to slam into the floor then shoot up numerous times. All the while we are yelling for the other to stop pushing the button. The door came loose and hovered over the automobile by a thread. Result…an expensive new, unwanted garage door.

A few years ago, the heat pump air conditioner that had smiled on us for quite a while became tired of it all and died. In the past, I could have bought a new car with the money spent on it.

At times, I have successfully fixed some smaller items, like radios, toasters and kitchen appliances. One was a tape recorder. It functioned properly until I put in an Andy Williams tape. Instead of Andy, I heard a voice that sounded like a drunk Daffy Duck singing “Moon River.”

I know not what a BlackBerry is unless it can be eaten. An iPod may be a loose piece of rock from the moon. Neither do I have or know what Twitter or tweet is unless they are bird calls. The only Kindle I know is a plumber.

Though hard to believe, some items like radios, toasters and like things could once be fixed. Refrigerators and televisions back then actually were repaired.

Thingamabob owners, shall we rise up and take to the streets? Without delay, call your congressman and demand a fact finding to straighten out these mad electronic and mechanical doo-binnies before it is too late.